There’s No Business Like Baby Business
HOW THE PERFORMING ARTS PREPARED ME FOR BEING A MOM
Originally Authored July 5th, 2021.
A dancer since the age of 2, the performing arts have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Nothing gets your adrenaline going like performing on stage, running a performing arts based business, and directing and choreographing performances, except for maybe, my latest and greatest role to date… that of being a mom.
That’s right. Forget the shelves of parenting books, chat boards, and advice columns. Nearly all of the things I’ve needed to know for motherhood, I learned through my journey in the performing arts.
1. Diaper bags are a lot like dance bags.
In my days of performing, I always had hair accessories, dance apparel, a change of clothes, every dance shoe imaginable, water, snacks, notebooks, and more in my smelly dance bag.
Similarly, the diaper bag functions as a catch all for anything our baby may need during any interval away from home: diapers, an assortment of wipes, burp cloth, change of clothes, bags for soiled clothing, feeding supplies, changing pad, and toys/pacifiers.
I wouldn’t show up to dance without my dance bag, and I’m certainly not going anywhere without the diaper bag. In my younger days, I could quick change in the car like nobody's business, and I'm now learning to do the same with my babe.
2. Transition Quickly.
As performers, we are taught to move quickly and quietly. Change your costumes fast. Make the scene change happen in minimal time. Get in your places at the appropriate time. Do it all in a quiet, organized manner in tight quarters.
It only takes an open air accident or a public potty blowout to realize the importance of speedy transitions for babies. A few examples include: getting in and out of the bath, going in and out of the stroller, diaper/wardrobe changes, and transitioning sleep spots.
In shows, the cast and audience are relying on you to do your part to keep the show going. Living the mom life, the stakes are even higher. One unexpected move, and the entire day can steer into a new course.
3. Manage Your Time.
With rehearsals, performances, training, freelance opportunities, and everything else happening in life, performers are known for being rock stars in their self-discipline and time management. Being a hustler is a necessity for being successful.
Baby life demands even more focus, discipline, hustle, and time management. With the little one relying on you for their needs and well-being, nap times become jam-packed productivity sessions. Strategic planning is a must.
I’ve always been boredom averse. As I type this article, take a simultaneous call on my Airpods, and set the Gloworm to the long soothe cycle, I don’t see boredom in my foreseeable future.
Focus and planning is required to keep it all moving- on stage and in real life.
4. Set and Reset.
When you’re setting up for a class series or rehearsal or performance, you set your scene. At the end of the night, you reset, so it is prepared for the next day, group, event, or show.
At home, with a baby, this has been an incredibly useful mindset. Designate a place for everything. Keep the laundry put away. Run and unload the dishwasher. Tidy everything up each night, so the “show” can successfully run the following day.
When you’re performing in theatre, prop foods have to be set and checked prior to each show. Right now, in my house, one of the most important end of night tasks is setting the coffee pot for the following morning. We may not have a props person to check it, but, bless it, that thing gets set every single night.
5. Be Ready for Anything and Everything.
In performance, anything can happen. You or your cast mate might miss a step or forget a line. The set might not work, a costume may tear, the power may go out, or someone may miss a cue. You always have to be on guard and ready for any possible scenario. Being able to improv, adapt, and keep it all going is key.
Babies also keep you on your toes. You learn as you go, and you have to be ready for a quick pivot at any second. What worked one day may not work the next.
For both, you have to embrace expecting the unexpected. The stress can be a motivator versus frustration.
6. Embrace the Future While Preserving the Past.
In performing arts, innovation is key. Our goal is to constantly aim for growth and progress while acknowledging the artists, shows, and moments that paved the way to the present.
The same is true for parenting. There are so many innovations designed to help us (thank you, Snoo and Doona), but sometimes, the best piece of advice may be from a grandparent or great-grandparent.
Take it all in and celebrate the ensemble of wisdom and knowledge that surrounds you.
7. Celebrate Your Style and Story.
In the performing arts and parenting, there’s the struggle of being like everyone else versus establishing your own identity.
In both, I’ve found that listening to your gut, respecting others, and confidently creating your own narrative are key in creating a life that isn’t rooted in societal expectations or others’ presumptions.
When you’re confident, you can better support, listen, and empathize with others. You also become the best advocate for yourself and your baby.
These are skills the performing arts and parenting both encourage. We just have to have the courage to lean into our truths.
8. The Beauty of the Process.
The performing arts, much like parenting, are very temporal in nature.
A cast is only together in a certain iteration for a length of time.
Babies’ benchmarks come and go in the blink of an eye.
We cry when a show ends.
We cry when precious moments suddenly become memories.
We cling to time and the way each experience impacts our life, often begging for just a second longer.
The mundane things are major- the routines, the people, the breakthroughs.
Through the process, we embrace the journey, realizing that life and performance are the combination of so many beautiful and wonderful segments.
Whether performing on stage or performing as a parent, you know the power of the precious moments.
You know the experience of taking it all in.
And, as life changes, the audience of 2,000 that you once performed for may now be your toughest critic to date, your 2-month old.
But, those lessons from performing?
They’ll always remain, and that is a truly beautiful thing.